You're an FLF

We possess the world's greatest Boxer dog.  Don't send me messages about how yours is better. I know Boxers rock the planet. But we have a Boxer that does the following:

1. Hi-fives,
2. Greets you by licking your knee, and
3. Fake snores

Yeah. You didn't read that incorrectly. The Kittie comes to me a couple of weeks ago and says, "Mom, the dog faked snored at me today."

I said, "What the hell does that mean?"

Kittie replies, "I was trying to play with him and he didn't want to and he started snoring.  What an ass, huh?"

While I didn't think she was lying to me I found it odd that the dog could do something like that, regardless of the level of righteous he is. I *can* promise you that our dog snores so loudly that he'll wake me in the master bedroom (note: tv runs all night, door closed...his sleeping self sawing a log WAKES me .....) but fake snoring seemed a stretch. Until I witnessed it.

While informing the Boxer Doggie that he was awesome (as he tried to take a nap) he looked at me and snored. I was both mystified and floored.  Could he be that smart? Could he be that snarky? Am I that annoying?

Moving on.

Hub tolerates the dog.  He FAKES that he doesn't like him very much.  He also PRETENDS he doesn't recognize the awesome. Hub enjoys asking the dog to smell his feet, complaining about the fact that the dog smells, and telling him he's a fat lazy fuck.  The latter has been shortened to FLF.  "Duke, you are an FLF." Like the dog CARES that he thinks that.  He's not fat. He is kinda lazy but if I had Duke's job I would be, too.

SO...

The other day our awesome dog was doing what he normally does (lay flat on the floor like a slug) after dinner. Hub sneered at him and said, "You are the biggest FLF I've ever seen."

Duke, without missing a beat, snored at Hub while looking him right in the eyes.

Yeah buddy.  Insult me, will you.

I told you.  Best. Boxer. Dog. Ever.