Thank you S&G

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Acrimony

We're going to start today off with a photograph of me:

Now then. While driving home last night I had a neighbor whip out of her driveway without looking.  I wasn't driving very fast.  I didn't have to lock 'em up or anything.  But as she swerves around me I give a quick toot of my horn.  Apparently Kittie threw her hands up in the air or something...I can't say for sure if she did or not because I didn't see it.

I drive up to the next block, turn on our street, and then into our driveway.  As we climb out of the car this woman comes to a screeching halt at the foot of our drive, rolls her window down and screams, "What is wrong with you? What is wrong with your passenger throwing her hands up at me?" I saw red INSTANTLY. Without thinking I retort with, "Ya know what....just watch when yer backing out of your driveway and stuff like that won't happen. Better yet, get killed."  She flipped me off and drove away.

I was in the state of Cat Hiss for the rest of the night. (I must give credit where credit is due. Hub is acutely aware of the moment Cat Hiss arrives...he can see the bitch-face from a mile away....and was sweet and considerate and didn't attempt to add to it....even though I'm sure he wanted to beat me with a stick.)

It wasn't until this morning that I started to examine my behavior.  I freely admit that Wrath is my most beloved and favorite deadly sin. But perhaps it's time to rein that in.  Didn't set a terrific example for Kittie by telling this person to 'get killed'.  Yay me.

So today is day ONE of seeing how long I can go without Cat Hiss.

If you want to start betting how long this will last by all means do so. I'm at peace with that for sure.

Sometimes They Are Still Alive

I am not so much on spiders. Living in Texas does mean that we have a pretty decent population of poisonous spiders like black widows and brown recluses. I've seen those around.  The occasional tarantula rings the doorbell every now and then. (I pretend not to see them. Big, hairy, slow and methodical. Blech.) The black widows and brown recluse spiders all get a nice healthy shot of Raid when they are seen.  I don't know if I own enough Raid to kill a tarantula and, really, we see them so rarely I don't know if I could bring myself to kill one. (NOTE: If one is ever seen in the house, however, we're going to move.)

Inside the house are wolf spiders. Hub has standing orders that the wolfies are to be either left alone or they are to participate in a catch and release program. They eat bugs. We don't have any....or maybe I should say we don't have any because of the wolf spiders.  While we've seen the rather large wolfie in the house before, they are generally not too big. I have spider catching apparatus ready at all times.  One clear plastic cup.  One cardboard coaster stolen from Chili's. Place cup over spider. Slide coaster under spider. Open door. Toss spider. Since they are harmless to people, I'm actually a little tiny bit fond of them. But just a little bit.

Last night I'm standing in the kitchen banging around trying to decide what I was going to cook for dinner. Something catches my eye.  In the corner of my cabinets is an unidentified spider the size of my palm.

I'm not a shrieker. I abandoned the Silly Girl a long time ago.  However, this massive, multi-colored spider elicited a very loud, "HOLY SHIT!" I squelched the urge to run from the room.

Hub wasn't home from work yet.  Kittie & friend were sleeping (yeah at 5:30 p.m.....teenagers can fall asleep at the drop of a dime) and that was probably a good thing because Kittie would have gotten a stick and polka dotted kerchif, packed some of her belongings and carried herself right out of the house never to be heard from again if she'd seen this monster.

Fortunately, my uncle was there to rescue me.  When he heard my exclamation of an obscene nature he wandered into the kitchen.  There he finds me standing in the middle of the room, staring catatonically at this unwelcome visitor. "Wow!" he says. "What kind of spider is that?"

"I don't know. I don't care. Kill it."

He walks over and bends down to look closer and Silly Girl arrives. "NO! Don't GET NEAR IT!"

With a chuckle he says, "Ok ok ok."

"K.I.L.L. the little bastard please!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Silly Girl is starting to get panicky. I start to dig around under the sink for a can of Raid.

"Don't spray that in the kitchen!" Uncle says....he grabs a dishtowel. (I have Good Dishtowels and Bad Dishtowels.  All the Bad Dishtowels have bleach spots. He wisely chose one of those.)  Folding it in half, he makes a grab for this huge spider.  Which then LEAPS FROM HIS GRASP with amazing speed.

Some girl screamed. It might have been me.

Said spider climbs right back to where it was before and this time Uncle doesn't miss. I can hear the disgusting 'pop' of death as he closes his fist around the portion of the towel containing what I'm assuming to now be spider parts.  He turns and hands me the towel.

I take it, prepared to shake what I can into the trash and immediately set Bad Dishtowel to soak in some bleach.  "Let's look at it!" Uncle says.  I open the towel.  (Why do spiders ball themselves up when they pass. It's gross.)  We both peer inside to examine what is left of the spider and THE FRACKING THING spreads it's legs and flips back over.

Some girl starts screaming again.  Same girl throws towel onto floor and starts jumping up and down on it.

Sometimes....they are still alive.  I am NOT at  peace with that.

Your Password Sucks

I have noticed that all sites that require you to create a username and password now judge "Password Strength".

I'm big on the acronym password.  But I like to make them the longest acronyms possible.  I recently praised myself for the password Iasfsatohtcapjtbafpos! Which of course is an acronym for "I am so fucking sick and tired of having to create a password just to buy a fucking pair of shoes!"   While I was busy praising myself the website told me my password was only of medium strength.  WTF?

I use all encrypted passwords at work...which I keep straight using an acronym passworded spreadsheet.

A co-worker of mine once called me from out of town and said, "Hey yank such and such off my computer and email it to me."

"Ok," I say, sitting as his computer....which is locked.  "What's your password?"

"Don't you know it," he asks.

Seriously, I think......why would I know this information? It's a PASSWORD thus making your computer secure. "No. Why the hell would I know your password?"

"I just thought you had everyone's passwords."

"Unless you physically came and gave it to me I wouldn't know it.  Office Manager does not also equal clairvoyant."

"Right.  My password is 'clownpenis'."

"WHAT? That sucks. Why is that your WORK COMPUTER PASSWORD?"

"No one can guess it."

"I should hope not!" And I'm scarred for life.

I guess I should be glad it wasn't 1234.