On Saturday in the wee small hours of the morning, Hub and I were awakened by rain. And I don't mean there was some loud-ass thunderstorm going on. I mean drizzle was hitting the windows and both of us started awake at the same time wondering what in the blue hell we were hearing. What is that??? Is that...water????? Falling from the SKY????????
Well, on Friday the bit of rain we were going to get was nothing but a pipe-dream that the weather people said we had a 1% chance of even getting so water on the ground was something I didn't bother to think about.
My daily chores at work include running to the post office and the bank (if needed). The post office runs are usually wildly entertaining. Just the other day I select a parking spot as close to the building as possible to avoid bursting into flames between the cool interior of the car and the building only to find that the spot I chose was in front of a broken down Bronco. The two men trying to fix it are having a discussion as I get out of the car that went like this:
Person #1: Look. This cable looks like it was chewed on by a rat.
Person #2: (mildly annoyed) Yeah. I guess we need to think about doing something about the rats.
WHAT????? You *think* you should do something about the *rats*???? Blech. My guess is it's not PET rats run amuck in your garage so ....gross.
So.
I go to the bank on Friday and I select the closest spot (again) in order to avoid spontaneous combustion (again) since it is over 103 degrees (again) by noon. To my surprise there is a small pothole that is filled with....water. (!!) So I exit the vehicle jumping gracefully from the driver's seat, over the puddle, on to the curb. I glance back as I'm walking toward the building because seeing a pool of water on the ground in Dallas is such an amazing sight, and I notice that there is a layer of scum on top of the puddle filling this pothole. This is immediately odd to me because if you run a sprinkler here for 30 seconds you attract a flock of birds so I assume it's filth in this hole.
Banking complete, I come out and proceed to avoid this hole filled with water and stepping over it to get into the car my plant foot slips on what I assume is mud. I catch myself and my other foot comes down in a natural reaction landing . . . square in the middle of this warm, squishy, scum-covered puddle in the pot hole.
<<insert cry of disgust>>
I have flip-flops on and as such my right foot is now drenched with I don't know what (but it is liquid). Due to the dryness we are suffering from I carry bottles of water with me. Sometimes I forget them in the car, however, and if you turn the engine (and, hence the a/c) off for 5 seconds it's 200 degrees in your car. I sit in the driver's seat....dry foot on the floor, drenched foot dangling outside the vehicle...wishing instantly for a shower stall and Lava soap.
Instead I reach for one of the two bottles of water in my cup holders....a desperation move to get rid of whatever is currently covering my foot.....I dump the contents of the bottle and ....
My foot is now on FIRE as this is the bottle from this morning and the water inside is now approximately 400 degrees. I yelp and the person currently exiting the bank turns and looks at me as if I am insane.
Hopefully, the boiling water killed all the germs..... as soon as I got back to the office, however, I covered the foot in hand sanitizer.
No comments:
Post a Comment